Dance to the rhythm of hearts beating the melody of love
selflessly swaying souls to the oneness wished upon stars
studding the velvet blackness of the night sky that bring
solace in solitude, tranquility in tribulation brought upon by words
that burn skins and hearts longing to pump life into a dying dream
that soon, looking at each others’ eyes will no longer brung hurt
as promises of love etch unto hearts of both.
The suspense caused by this most recent change in my life is taking me to highs and lows I have long forgotten and I can no longer fathom what I need to do.
It seems so foreign, almost anachronistic. I am tensed. I am scared. I am happy. I am paranoid. My paranoia is making matters worse. These highs and lows are taking me to dips and lifts I never saw coming.
I should not have invited these things to my life. But on second thought, these feelings are making me feel alive, reminding me of the kinds of excitement I had never felt in the years that I had been tied by a relationship.
Now the promise of success or failure of this new chapter I have brought upon myself is driving me nuts, spinning the tapes in my head round and round up to the point of disintegration.
But I shall patiently wait for this relationship to blossom. Or not.
Like butter stretched over too much bread.
These words of Tolkien for Bilbo Baggins have been resounding in my head since the beginning of the school year.
I am very thankful for the blessings and appointments that have been given to me but sometimes it is becoming too much. But I never resort to mediocrity in the fulfillment of the expectations people have of me.
So I stress out myself, tire myself to death, that even I can no longer distinguish when work begins and ends every day. I know I shouldn’t be doing this especially with my cardiac operation waiting to happen this summer. But with the amount of things I have to do, sleep is a luxury I cannot afford. As much as I would like to rest, I also want to do lots of things that are not related to work: watch all the seasons of True Blood and Supernatural, finish the A Song of Fire and Ice Series, post regularly in my blog, watch new movies, party with friends, and so much more.
Life is too short to just let a day pass without achieving so much. That’s my paranoia. And it is killing me.
I only get an average of 4-5 hours of sleep everyday because I think sleeping is a waste of time. But I know I have to start changing these ways of I want to live longer and experience life more.
Friends, readers, remind me please not to overdo everything. Please help me extinguish my paranoia.
It’s been a while since I have written and it is not because I have no time to do so.
For some time now, I have found myself lost in a wilderness of melancholic thoughts that depress me and slaved by numerous memories that creep into the deepest recesses of my mind.
I lost and losing is nowhere near happiness. Any kind of loss takes away a part of us that we can no longer regain. This is the very reason why losing hurts. Before you lose something, you have to own it. Such possession of an object, a person, a place ripples across horizons of our existence. Possession defines, molds, nurtures changes which we adapt to and later on be immersed into until these changes become as imprinted as birthmarks.
Then you lose the possession and the pain of such loss amounts to un-fathomable depths of sorrow.
To lose is to forget, remember, remain, let go…
Stillness of the Night
The stillness of the night offers serenity as nightingales
sing of the moon’s romance with the stars.
tranquil waters promise a safe journey across borders, miles
and nostalgic melancholic memories of the swift past.
rustling leaves, cooing birds whisper the cacophony of the forest
rhythmic, melodic, yet fearfully lonely.
as rain showers and zephyr breezes, gray clouds hover
the calmness of this stillness remains no longer.
the stillness of tonight steadily cascades, lingers
yet no calmness flows, no quiet stays.
Stillness of the Night by Tim Decano is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-NoDerivs 3.0 Unported License.
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I shall plank more. Not the lying face down game. The real thing.
Always amazing (Courtesy of Celebrity Image World)
Her name is particularly difficult to remember because it is significantly difficult to spell as well.
Alanis Morissette is one of the greatest artists of my generation whose haunting voice and artistry never fail to rekindle long-dead emotions, spark old romances, dig long-forgotten vestiges of the past.
Through a friend, I was able to rediscover the poetry and music of Alanis through her album “Flavors of Entanglement” that testifies to her musical genius.
Flavors of Entanglement
The album offers a variety of genres which makes this 2008 album appeal to all. “Torch,” “Not as We,” “Incomplete,” and “Tapes” have the slow rock vibe, while “Citizen of the Planet,” “Versions of Violence,” “Moratorium,” In Praise of the Vulnerable Man,” “Underneath,” and “Straitjacket” offer the alternative rock vibe. Alanis also offers a taste of pop in the single “Giggle For No Reason.”
The 11 tracks of “Flavors of Entanglement” will prove to be great company to both the broken-hearted and the hopeless romantics.
And to start your journey to this album, here is one of my favorite tracks, Torch.
moving stillness
“The stillness in stillness is not the real stillness; only when there is stillness in movement does the universal rhythm manifest” (Bruce Lee).
Nighttime photography brings so much illumination to the eyes and to the lens. Instead of taking photos of landscapes or still objects, I capture still movements of people that perfectly deconstruct the layers of human motion.
Chad (in black)
Last night I was in Boni High Street taking photos. I spotted some skaters so I sat on one of the stone, pseudo-marble benches and waited for the skaters to pass my way. While shooting, one of them approached me and I thought he would smash my head with his awesome skateboard. But then he asked, “You want to try?” To which I replied repeatedly, No. Then he sat down and another skater arrived and he introduced himself and his companion.
Danica
Siblings Chad (not sure if I remember his name correctly because I was staring at his sister while he was saying his name) and Danica still urged me to try it instead of just taking photos of them doing it. But I told them that I was fine being an audience to skateboarding. When they were convinced that they couldn’t really convince me to try skateboarding, I told them to go ahead and skate again so I could take photos.
Chad and Danica left with a smile on their faces and wishes that we’d meet again in Boni High Street while I was left with an ecstatic heart because I met people who appreciate the limitations of the freedom we have: for Chad and Danica, the risks of skateboarding in a busy place and for me, the uncertainties of capturing movements in the stillness of nighttime.
falling off
Lately, pangs of melancholy have been eating up my heart. Let these photos speak of my emotions.
Taking pictures destroys the essence of the moment.
Taking pictures takes you away from the ambiance.
Taking pictures sucks.
That’s what I thought when I was in high school. I never knew that holding the very first manual SLR for my photojournalism class in college would entirely change the way I see the art of photography.
Since that serendipitous first meeting with Prof. Gil Nartea, I have been taking photos of every single moment that captures my emotions with any kind of shooting device that I happen to have at that moment.
Photos are not just still images of a moment. They are an encapsulation of memories, emotions, and moments that will never be.
Courtesy of Don Anton Valle
Recently, I have found new would-be shooting buddies Reyan Santelices and Don Anton Valle who happens to maintain an FB page. (please support him by liking the page).
I am now really looking forward to purchasing an SLR of my own so I could take photos of every single moment, momentous or mundane.
Moments are never defined anyway by how much emotion or memory they bear but are defined by how lasting those memories and emotions will be in our lives.
